It's like no one knows him...

I knew him, won't forget him...
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It was as if like no one ever knew him. Once the story got around, no one could quite place him. I tried to describe him, all of a sudden, no one knew who he was.

He was a cool guy. Always smiling, always waving from where ever. He liked the ladies too. Good looking, smooth talker.

I called him my favorite master gardener. Told him I appreciated the fact that he brightened up this old factory with pretty flowers all over the place. Seems like after they hired him, he went right to work. Not to say that his company didn't place a few nice flowers here and there before, but when he went to work, the place really started to glow.

You know, I never learned his last name. I spoke to him many times. I even spoke to him the day before. He walked by me and as usual, smiled broadly and waved to me, chatted a minute before going on about his business.

Business. I also told him once that the place had never looked better. Those he hired were not only easy on the eyes, but seemed to work harder and do much better than ever during my time here. Before we had to ask for certain services, no more. All the way around, things improved greatly.

I hate to start, but I know there are those convinced that anyone that commits suicide goes straight to hell. The only unforgivable sin. THE God, creator of all. The one and only, the epitome of love and forgiveness. Of absolute compassion and caring. This icon of all that is right with the galaxy. Would allow such a travesty. At the darkest moment of someones life. The very moment, when someone realizes what has happened. The true moment, when a person knows there is no turning back. Perhaps the last conscience thought. The millisecond before the spirit leaves the body. What does that person experience? The horror of knowing. The flash of a lifetime. Regret? Fear? Is it truly the most anguish filled heartbeat. Or....is it the moment when the entity that you say gave his son for our forgiveness, grabs his hand, seeing the torture already endured. Witnessing the process, knowing what this person went through in order to make the choice to end it all. And to actually feel so discouraged about their place in life that this person would go through the how and the when. Not to encourage such behavior, but I want to believe that an angel comforted our Angel. And that this heavenly being wiped away all that was and is now caring for him in a way that those of us that would never feel such darkness cannot comprehend.

Yes, there are those that went on the attack. Their lives have been rough and they have known heartache and despair, but....they are still here. Struggling to make the best of it. Somehow, above all that, would never think of it. Cowards way out. Can't believe he would do that to his family.

Sorry, it's like many other things we discover. When it hits close to you, you have to look at it. And I refuse to think of this man, this good, friendly, smiling through it all, way too young to be gone, man, as having to suffer even more and being punished for not being able to find another way.

Regardless of how others look at him and what he has done, I will always consider him my friend and wonder if maybe I could have said or done something.......